Creatures not so great

The Egyptian plagues have nothing on Scotland when the weather's warm and the wind dies down. Then they come - the midges - in their clouds. They settle in your hair and chew on your neck - or any other exposed part - and they're tiny and composed completely of tooth. Minnesota mosquitoes are nasty - big and noisy and bloodthirsty. But at least they walk around and kick your hair follicles and announce their presence so you can squash them, making a satisfying splat of blood so you know revenge is yours. But midges are too small and numerous to swat. The only defense is a hasty retreat.

One night as we sat by the fire reading I caught movement from the corner of my eye and there was a huge beetle - more than an inch long sashaying across the carpet. Unfortunately for him he became an unwilling volunteer for immediate cremation. Going into the kitchen to make a cup of tea, I encountered a very large stripey slug reared up in the middle of the floor. It was about 6 inches long and was fast aquiring dragonesque proportions when I summoned my St. George - namely Jack - to come and rescue me - I was definitely in distress. I had noticed a silvery trail going across the rug the day before but hadn't realized what it was. Now I felt them lurking in every corner.

After Jack invited our guest outside, I stuffed plastic bags under the kitchen door. Later I learned from local experts that if you leave a line of salt along the threshold it tends to dampen their enthusiasm and keeps out bugs and slugs and things that go squish in the night.